Lulu's Lexicon

Goin' down to Asheville

2011-10-14T08:23:00.000-07:00

I don't like to be scolded, but scolded I have been. For being tardy with my blog updates. The absolute worst. I'm not only tardy, I've been an absentee blogger. I feel bad, but I say "Cast out the badness for the evil does not lurk within!" You know why? Because it's freakin'

B L O G T I M E I N A S H E V I L L E

And blog I shall. And post photos. And laugh. And even exaggerate (which I never do), and make up stuff and tell it as if it were real (which I never do), and see an actual season (which we never have in California).

But let's get something straight. It's not like I've been sitting around eating bon-bons since February. Macché! (Italiano). Certainement pas! (français). Claro que no! (Español). No way!

I've been doing things like being a casual travel photographer and converting my photos to black and white. I love the metal work of Antoni Gaudi, and while in Catalunya this year I shot one of his fabulous gates in Barcelona. The color photo hasn't been touched; the black and white I modified (duh) and printed on Epson Velvet Fine Art paper (which looks absolutely rico suave).

The problem is, when working in the physical realm things don't always translate well to the virtual. Take the Velvet Fine Art paper example. Unless you're a printmaker or water color artist, you probably wouldn't know how sumptuous VFA is to the touch. It feels like your skin does after a warm bath followed by a luxurious application of Chanel No. 5 Crème Velours Pour Le Corps. Followed, perhaps, by a fine dusting of Poudre Libre Après-Bain, in summer. Warm, sultry, luscious. Wish you could see, smell, and touch it...the paper, like warm, smooth, cashmere. Skin. And, what's really mind-bending is having the image on that beautiful paper be a rough, weathered metal dragon.

So, yes...no blog for too long but I have been busy. Really. No exaggerating here. I never do that.

Can't wait for Asheville on Monday. All my friends will be there and we shall have a grand old time.

PASSION: The Temptation of Porcelain Perfection

2011-02-25T08:14:00.000-08:00

Last week’s word assignment from Andrew Thornton was “Passion.” Since it was near Valentine’s Day, images of hearts and flowers and candy and unbelievably happy and beautiful young and carefree and solvent and well-dressed and undressed couples were everywhere. Kissing, gazing into each other’s eyes, walking on beaches hand in hand, in restaurants…and diamond jewelry stores, shopping for an affirmation of love? That’s not love or passion: that’s marketing.

You know what I’m passionate about? CLEAN SINKS. Especially when they’re mine. Oooo, all the cleaning products and their improve-ed-ness! The exciting neuromuscular connection that improves when I scrub the sink; a slow, familiar rhythm, nothing in focus as my eyes dilate and roll back in my head, my brow dampening…oh, sweet Lord, my synapses Sing! Lo, I feel the steady beat of my heart, pounding in my chest as my full breasts swell even fuller with desire; oh, how the porcelain perfection tempts me; closer I range, my rounded hips press hot against the cool, vitreous apron of my farm sink; the slight twinge of bleach now flaring my nostrils…oh Lord, forgive me as I must be Sinning!

But is not cleanliness next to Godliness?

OK. I must admit that my passion is gently fueled by a genetic predisposition to hamartophobia. Yes, I can hear my wonderful Catholic grandmother telling me that I simply must be ready for when the people arrive—but I don’t really let that interfere that much. I mean, the Queen is never going to do a spot check on my house, right? I’m just not that special. [Ironed cloth napkins: check. Individual polished silver S&P shakers: check. Service for 12: check. Empty trash baskets, especially in the bathroom: check. All traces of human habitation gone: check.]

Anyway, along the way I’ve developed some very useful strategies to make split second cleaning decisions when confronted by somewhat irregular and always confounding cleaning variables like dog hair in the refrigerator or that horrible orangey-red line left in the sink or dish pan when a helpful person really wanted to do the dishes after a spaghetti dinner.

But first things first.

The main object of cleaning your sink is to return it to its original color. Nevermind the idea of “sparkling clean” because if the underlying color of a sparkling clean sink is Brite White and the cleaned color is more like Navajo White, there is something really wrong. I mean, think about it…we all know that that sparkling describes something that gives off sparks or is releasing gas bubbles. If my sink were sparking and emitting gas I’d forget about cleaning for the day, leave the house immediately, and dial my insurance agent from a safe distance.

All I’m trying to say is that if you know deep down inside that your sink is Brite White, how could you even leave the house if what you and, more importantly, your guests, actually saw was anything south of Biscuit? That would be the same thing as leaving your house without making your bed before leaving your bedroom or at the latest before performing your morning ablutions. Can you imagine?

Perhaps next time I’ll share some important performance standards for improved cleaning. Until then, just remember there are degrees of proficiency but there are many more degrees of passion. All can be yours with a clean sink.

The Battle of the Bold: Tohono Chul Park Redux

2011-02-12T14:41:00.000-08:00

The first day we were assigned words, Kathi Jablonski handed me a folded, palm-sized piece of paper containing my word of the day: BOLD. I thought, eh, I’m a bold kinda gal, I can do bold easy. A little color, some crazy ornament, et voilà, BOLD. Not so simple, though, at Tohono Chul Park. The problem there wasn’t finding bold, but trying to determine degrees of bold, from color (being on the narrow end of bold) to outright physical assault (perhaps the boldest, and at least the most dangerous). Assembled are a million highly specialized cacti and other flora that have bolded themselves right into being able to successfully survive, and sometimes even thrive (the nerve!), in one of the harshest environments known to eukaryotes and prokaryotes alike, the magnificent Sonoran Desert. By the time I was finished wandering the park, there was no clear winner in the battle of the bold. Here I present my findings.

SUPERIOR MOISTURE ENTRAPMENT AND STORAGE FACILITIES

Fabulous vascular systems: Secure, self-regulating, and able maintain local stores of life sustaining moisture in extreme conditions and over extended periods of time. Negligible failure rate only increased by gunfire, really dumb high school pranks usually resulting in a trip to the hospital, and stealthy alien disease agents.

Ingenious design, or merely bold?

ADVANCED PERIMETER CONTROL WITH ENEMY ANNIHILATION OPTION

Resource management and security: Auto-armor protection with puncture and heat resistant shielding of traditionally vulnerable surface area. Double- duty dissuader system utilizing nasty, sharp, pointy, and sometimes really stingy, self-mounted rigid semi-projectile needle deterrent arrays. Enemy annihilation option may include back-canted or reverse-mount barbs happy to rip and/or shred enemy derma on contact.

FEMALE INTELLIGENCE AGENTS DEPLOY COVERT BATTERY OF OLFACTORY AND VISUAL STIMULI TO ENCOURAGE CONTACT WITH KNOWN AND/OR SUCCESSFUL POLLINATORS

Burlesque-trained and fecund female flaunters encourage contact with purpose-built fructifiers for procreation and genomic security.

BLOG WRITER TRIPS SELF WITH SILLINESS

As is evidenced by my devo-descriptions, I am unable at this time to further my analysis of the features and functions of BOLD. My aging processor of a brain is too overwhelmed by the specialty of nature to continue. I think I’ll go in the backyard and plant my sweet peas (late).

But first, one last photo (or two).

I'm on my second wind.

As a Californian, many of the cacti I saw at Tohono Chul were familiar to me--in fact, I have many of them in my very own front yard. I am always dazzled by their incredible variety and ruthless beauty. I've taken people to the desert during wildflower season only to have them say, "Um, is this it?" However, it only takes an hour of hiking and focusing their eyes on the horizon until they begin to see the beauty, first of the purple verbena carpet reaching for miles, then between rocks the tiny miracle flowers able to rise again each Spring. And, after dipping their burning toes in the cool pools of our palm oases, they become converts too.

Thanks again to Kathi Jablonski for my word of the day: BOLD

The Cast Shadow of Translucence

2011-02-05T15:34:00.000-08:00

Tohono Chul Turnstyle

Further to our photo assignments during the fabulous pre-freeze edition of the Kate McKinnon and Andrew Thornton "Capturing the Moment" Experience, I introduce what I believe to be an example of the Cast Shadow of Translucence. We all know a shadow occurs when an opaque object intercepts illumination.

Curious and Delicious Beads in the African Village

Ah, but when the object is translucent instead, its shadow is cast along with a hint of its own essence, whether texture and/or color.

Now, I could have completely misunderstood the task at hand (which happens a lot) but I swear I heard Andrew say we were supposed to find instances of this happening. Or maybe it was one of those voices I hear giving constant commentary on absolutely everything...except for when I meditate or medicate. Nonetheless, when Andrew and I were trolling the African Village on the hunt for raw amber, I found a curious shadow on some luscious red beads. Beneath the slightly orange bead was the tiniest curious ruby glow cast on the surface of the next bead to the left. Behold, the Cast Shadow of Translucence! OK teachers, how did I do? [I promise, no extra saturation was needed.]

Corsets, cactus, cuality

2011-01-28T18:24:00.000-08:00

Kate's hand signals confused us all. Just what did she mean by making a dainty-teacup-holding shadow L with her left hand? Was she secretly tapping out the rhythm of "Love is the Drug"? Pointing to the telephone pole and light standard ahead? Or simply directing us to our next destination, which was Tohono Chul Park.

Para Reflexionar

2011-01-28T07:21:00.000-08:00

Fiat Lux

Museo. Curiosidades. Musica. Muertos. Milagros. Cuartos misteriosos. Sagrado corazón de....
Músico/Artist: Daniel Martin Diaz. Escritora/Cantanta: Paula Catherine Valencia.
http://www.sacredmachine.com
245 E Congress St, STE 123
Tucson, Arizona 85701
520.777.7403

This is the Goodwill?

2011-01-27T20:16:00.000-08:00

Luminosity, Goodwill Style

I've never seen a Goodwill with such luminous arrangements of almost believable shapes and functions with gold gilt frosting on nearly every surface, over edges and hinges, under their bases and more improbable places. A metal pitcher that could have been at Versailles, a porcelain apothecary that doesn't open, a chambered nautilus with red and blue tempera markings picked up cheap, two lamps of questionable origin and dangerous wiring. Tomorrow, more evidence, after deep dreams and early coffee.

Goin' Fishin' in Tucson

2011-01-23T16:21:00.000-08:00

Fishies in the Lily Pond, San Diego Botanical Garden

Aye, The Kate McKinnon and Andrew Thornton Experience will go down in Tuscon history as nearly the single most important event since the 1934 fire when John Dillinger, America's first Public Enemy No. 1, was smoked out of his room at the Hotel Congress. [Story has it that one of the Dillinger Gang "tipped" a fireman to go back into the flaming building to get a few pieces of their, um, luggage.]

So, I'm shippin' out on Wednesday for a few days with Kate and Andrew, readin', writin', bloggin', shootin' photos, thriftin', eatin', laughin', and fishin' for a pirate's booty of treasures and sparkly baubles. Nay, nay, Tuscon hasn't seen the likes of we scaliwags, a-swashbucklin' and a-swaggerin' our way through town, leavin' dubloons, confused clerks and puzzled passersby in our wake.

Just nod if you can hear me....

2010-09-17T09:58:00.000-07:00

Saber Tooth Cat, Galleta Meadows, Borrego Springs, CA

Hello. Trying to figure out how to get this damn blog up so I can post photos from France without having to write HTML code. I've spent way too much time with WordPress over the past day so I've had to resort to Blogger. Next I need to figure out how to get the pictures out of Picasa before I lose the originals...I now know I've made a great error.